If you have started seriously considering the accuracy of the principles in your belief window, you have taken the first step toward building a solid foundation for accelerated success.  Congratulations!  I believe that the second essential element in the foundation is a well managed life.  Those who lack good life management skills will have difficulty sustaining the discipline to produce success.  It is absolutely essential that those who hope to be high achievers maintain a life discipline that will continually move them toward planning and accomplishing their goals.

There are six basic elements common to all human existence, and how we combine them produces the evidence of life management.  This concept is also known as the “Balance Wheel of Life,” and it embraces the principle that the more balanced we are in each of the six areas, the smoother our “wheel” of life rolls.  

"I slept, and dreamed that life was Beauty; I woke, and found that life was Duty." -         Ellen Sturgis Hooper (1816-1841) 

          While life is certainly much more complicated than a list of ingredients, I believe these six basic components of life are fairly simple. It is their interaction and application that can be, and usually are, very difficult.  Every individual's life is a journey marked by thousands of events.  If we were to analyze everything that could possibly be included in the course of a person's life, we would find that each event falls into one or more of the six basic categories: 

Spiritual

Social

Educational

Home and Family

Physical and Health

Financial  

"Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me."  - Carol Burnett  

          We will get more into goal setting to achieve success in each area of our lives in a later chapter.  However, I must say here that the best way to get our wheels “out of balance” is to simply let life happen and not set goals in each of these areas.  Unfortunately, many people live their lives without setting goals, and the result is a that a large percentage of our society is simply drifting through life with no place to go, so to speak; and I am not just talking about those living on the streets.  Many people who hope to be successful are just waiting for a “break” and have never entertained the thought of establishing goals and structuring a plan to achieve them.  They have no idea where they are going or how to get there.

          Obviously, since you chose to read this book, you understand the basic principles of success and have established a goal of accelerating your own success.  As we go through each of the six basic areas of life, I hope you prayerfully “listen” as personal goals for each area come to your mind, and that you write them down to develop later into full-blown goals. 

Spiritual 

          We all have an intangible part of our existence that occupies our hearts and minds in an expression of belief or unbelief in a supernatural power greater than ourselves.  As we discussed in the previous chapter, this shapes the fundamental perceptions (principles) of our lives.  Those who do not believe in God will never enjoy the experience of transcending human activities.  Those who do will be able to see their actions as a part of something larger than themselves that can't be seen or touched. 

The truth is, we are all spiritual beings, made by the God of heaven and earth who created everything that exists.  In fact, we were created in the very image of God, and it is only in Him that "we live and move and have our [very] beings." (Acts 17:28a)  He sent His own Son, Jesus Christ, to bridge the "unbridgeable" gap between Holy God and sinful man. Through His Son, we can do all things, and we are nothing apart from Him.  True success in life is based on an intimate relationship with Him. Out of that relationship comes obedience to Him, and from obedience (which includes doing the things we know to do to achieve success) comes blessing in one form or another.   The crucial thing here is that the things we do must be based on our relationship with Him.

 " But without faith, it is impossible to please Him: for he that comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of them that diligently seek Him." - Hebrews 11:6 

As we plan and take action to achieve success, we have to remember that it is important to plan in accordance with the direction God gives us, because achievement and success in any other direction is hollow and will eventually prove meaningless.  I mentioned my “rags to riches” story in the first chapter.  When I became a millionaire at the age of 23, my goals had not been based on direction from God.  Because of the agony I experienced when I lost it all, I turned to God and eventually (gradually) changed my goals to reflect his guidance.

          The most important goals we can establish are those that will last an eternity.  Even though it is important to set goals in the other five areas, spiritual goals are the only ones that will truly affect you and those around you on an eternal basis.  As you consider your spiritual goals, ask the Lord to reveal His direction to you.  Is reading through the Bible in a year a good goal for you?  Perhaps your goal would be to develop a servant’s heart or to minister to others in some way with your time and/or finances.  If you feel a real “longing” toward a certain area, that desire of your heart is probably a leading from the Lord. 

Social  

          Every aspect of our lives involves other people, but let’s examine for just a moment those relationships that we form on a social level.   The nature of each relationship will be different.  Some will be smooth and pleasant; others will be difficult.  Some will impact our lives significantly; others will be casual.  Some will dominate our lives; others will be superficial.  Our interactions with others occur in many different forms, but they occupy a huge portion of our lives. 

          As do each of the six elements of our lives, social relationships have a profound affect on the other five areas.  The types of relationships and social activities we pursue deeply impact our spiritual lives; our educational goals could be vastly enhanced by the people with whom we choose to spend time, or they could be ravaged; our families could be highly enriched by our choice of friends and activities, or they could be disappointed and unfulfilled; our friends often have a powerful influence on our eating habits, our commitment to exercise, and our health and physical lives in general; and many times the weight of influence from our friends impacts our financial goals.

          As we pursue balance in our social lives, it is important for those of us that are married that our spouses are in agreement with our goals.  I have seen many married couples literally “stranded on the side of the road” in this area, because the husband spends more of his social time off fishing or playing golf with his buddies than with his wife and family in pursuit of mutually beneficial relationships.  Or the wife may be so involved in community or church activities that the family’s social life is basically non-existent.  The lack of balance could simply be a matter of time: too much or too little time spent on certain activities.

          Social activities are, by design, intended to provide rest and respite for our weary bodies and souls (when I use the term “soul” here, I am speaking of that certain inner chamber made up of our minds, wills, and emotions).  The relationships and activities we choose can be tremendously uplifting and rewarding, providing a wonderful balance to the other five areas of our lives and contributing toward our success.  Or, they can lead toward our eventual downfall and failure.  When social relationships are out of balance, or when there is difficulty or turmoil in those relationships, our entire lives may seem out of control. 

          For those who have families, I encourage you to spend time with them discussing the goals you want to set in this area.  Social goals could include finding a new and interesting restaurant each month; meeting new friends; or inviting close friends over to cook out, hang out, play games, or just talk.  Just be very aware that it is also easy to get “too busy” and not make time for this area of your life. 

Educational 

          “An idle mind is the devil’s workshop.”  While we all know this idiom is not “scriptural,” there is obviously much truth to it.  The pursuit of knowledge is crucial to a healthy mind, and we must be in a constant state of learning if we want to achieve success. 

            That said, please allow me to make a small disclaimer.  Most educators, politicians, and community leaders tell us that education is the answer to all of our society’s social problems.  I do believe that many problems in an individual’s life can be solved through education, but I also believe that many of our challenges are spiritual in nature and that their resolution will require our willingness to change some things in our lives.

          I once heard someone say, “Education is about one-tenth as costly as ignorance.”  The bottom line is, if we have stopped learning, we have basically stopped living.  I learn probably a dozen or more new things a day, through various media.  In a later chapter, I discuss modeling and benchmarking; and in that chapter I describe how I make it a practice to constantly learn from others.  I also read and/or study 100 books a year.  I am constantly asking questions, watching, and listening to learn new things.  I listen to audiocassettes; I watch educational television and videos.  I crave knowledge (research, statistics, facts, and new ideas), because I know that without it I am doomed to a life of mediocrity. 

          Whether we want to pursue learning through a formal education or through our own continuing education, we must constantly keep our minds open and alert to receive new information.  Since all the knowledge we possess came from other people at some point in our lives, part of our success depends on how much we are willing to learn from others. 

          Your educational goals may include obtaining a degree from a college or university, even though you already have a family and have been in the workforce for years.  You may want to take classes or go to workshops to give you an edge in your existing job.  Or you may want to attend a seminar or read a book on a subject about which you are passionate.  As you pursue your educational goals, I encourage you to implement your newly found knowledge on a daily basis.          

Home and Family Life 

Our families are gifts from God.  We are charged with the responsibility of nurturing relationships within our families, with the overall goal of creating happy, secure, and successful families.  The common threads of faithfulness and commitment hold successful families together, for those attributes create an atmosphere of love and trust in which families can thrive.

When we have difficulty, disagreement, or conflict in our family relationships, we can use those problems as learning tools to improve our relationships, or we can continue making the same mistakes. Through the generosity of time, we have the luxury of maturing and learning how to handle family relationships properly, or we can continue to wallow in the same mistakes and create misery.

The Bible is the best practical handbook there is on personal and family relationships.  Over and over we are encouraged to "fervently love one another from the heart" (I Peter 2:22); to show "forbearance to one another in love" (Ephesians 4:2); and to "put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, bearing with one another and forgiving each other." (Colossians 3:12b-13a)  Following the godly principles found in the Bible is the best insurance for having successful, happy families.

Another important key to good family relationships is being a good listener.  Most marriage counselors agree that one of the biggest problems in marriages is rooted in poor communication that results in erroneous perceptions.  Some couples have gone for years believing they have been listening to each other and then discover that real communication has never taken place.  This is a potentially dangerous problem in any relationship.  Children often complain that their parents don’t understand them.  Parents complain that their children don’t listen to their advice.   

An excellent way to test your listening skills is to sit down with someone in your family and work through the following exercise.  You must realize first, though, that in any relationship where there is open and honest communication, there is vulnerability and risk involved.  Anyone who really wants good communication must be willing to hear from the heart and accept criticism.  Hopefully, the criticism will be constructive and given in love, and the relationship will flourish as a result.  Even if harsh things are said, it is an opportunity to exercise understanding, forgiveness, kindness, and forbearance.  Either way is a winning situation.

You may want to select someone for this exercise with whom you have somewhat of a communication challenge.  Or, it could be your spouse, even if you believe you communicate well with each other.  Schedule about 30 minutes with this person and find a comfortable, quiet place to talk.  You will have a very structured conversation that will expose and hopefully improve your listening skills.

Before you begin, review the guidelines for the conversation:

1.     The subject of the conversation will be “Things I admire and respect about you and things I would like to see you improve.”

2.     When your partner is speaking, you are not allowed to talk.  You must listen until your partner says, “I’m finished talking.”

3.     When your partner finishes speaking, you will repeat EVERYTHING you heard your partner say back to him or her.  When you have repeated what you think you heard, you will ask your partner, “Is that what you said?”

4.     Your partner will respond “yes” or “no.”  If the answer is “no," your partner will repeat what he or she said.  After your partner has finished speaking, you will again repeat what you heard, leaving nothing out.  You will continue repeating this procedure until your partner agrees that you have repeated an exact rendition of everything he or she said.

This exercise is not intended to resolve issues, but to test listening skills.  Actually, it can be fun!  You may even end up communicating on a very deep level and, as a result, changing your behavior and improving the relationship!  Whatever the case, you may discover in the process that your listening skills could use some improvement.  Many times we think we hear something one way when it was intended quite another.  You may be amazed at how many times your partner had to say something before you "got it."

          This simple exercise could make a huge impact on your family relationships.  (For one thing, it should increase your awareness of things you admire about your family members and inspire you to compliment them more!)  Effective listening skills are of critical importance to those who want to be successful over a long period of time.  We need the help of others, especially those in our families, in order to achieve and really be successful; and the more effectively we can communicate with others, the more effectively they can help.

          What are some of your goals for your family and home life?  To become a better listener?  Perhaps you want to develop your children’s self-esteem or establish a family devotion time for each day.  Maybe your goal is to have a home that is peaceful, comfortable, and organized—one that is open and inviting to friends and extended family.         

Physical and Health  

          If we could put a price tag on a healthy body, how much would it be?  When we are young, none of us ever think we will suffer health problems; but we often fail to recognize the importance of developing healthy habits to ensure that we don’t. 

          Even though health products, health clubs, and health equipment sales are higher than they have ever been in America, the population as a whole makes a very poor showing when it comes to having healthy bodies.  We often do whatever is required of us to achieve success in the other areas of our lives, but most of us are unbalanced in the area of physical well being.  I’m afraid much of it stems from the fact that we, as Americans, are spoiled to having what we want when we want it and are not disciplined enough to pay the price for healthy bodies. 

          What good does it do to achieve success in other areas of our lives if we do not have the good health to enjoy our success?  It’s almost like putting on sunglasses to look at a beautiful sunset!  Real success requires balance in EVERY area of our lives, and the only way to appreciate our success is to stay healthy. 

          When you set goals that facilitate a healthier body, you are taking steps that can (literally) last a lifetime!  You may want to set a goal of joining a health club.  Or perhaps a brisk evening walk (not stroll) with your spouse or your family is a good goal to you.  By setting goals now, working toward them, and reaching them, you are setting an example for your family and others to lead a healthier lifestyle. 

Financial  

How we handle our financial affairs is an indication of how well we are managing our lives.  Making wise decisions in this area and practicing good stewardship can lead to success in other areas of our lives.  On the contrary, even though financial disasters can be reversed, relationships, self-esteem, and peace of mind are often permanently damaged in the process. 

I believe the criteria for determining how balanced we are in this part of our lives can be summed up in two words:  needs and wants.  Obviously, needs and wants are in the eye of the beholder; but people who live their lives totally yielding to every compulsive want can experience a lifetime of frustration.  It's easy to get into the mode of compulsive buying, especially if a person has the means to do so.  I know that from personal experience, since I have struggled with this over the years.  When I realize I am getting into that pattern, I have to step back and take measures to change my behavior.

It is important to have a balanced view of how God feels about finances.  There are many scriptures about giving, and I believe the way we give is another indication of how well we are managing our lives.  Are we in tune with God and giving back to Him as He gives to us?  Are we generous in our relationships and interaction with others?  Do we freely give to our family (restrained only by common sense and Godly wisdom)?  He wants to bless us financially, just as we love to bless our own children.  The difference is that we often give to our children for the wrong reasons (pride, for example), and God always blesses in return for obedience and right relationship with Him.  However, His blessings are always timed perfectly to work the most good in our lives.  We know that "all things work together for good, for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose" (Romans 8:28), so it's just a matter of trusting Him for both the blessing and the timing.  On the other hand, He tells us not to love money and to be content with what we have.

For those who have difficulty understanding that God wants to bless us, I recommend a wonderful little book called The Prayer of Jabez, by Bruce Wilkinson.  Wilkinson points out a tiny portion of scripture--only two verses--that contain a powerful message.  Right in the middle of a long list of genealogy, the Bible gives homage to a person who prayed for blessings--and received them!  Because this concept is important, I will quote the entire passage:

Now Jabez was more honorable than his brothers, and his mother called his name Jabez, saying, "Because I bore him in pain."  And Jabez called on the God of Israel saying, "Oh, that You would bless me indeed, and enlarge my territory, that Your hand would be with me, and that You would keep me from evil, that I may not cause pain!"  So God granted him what he requested.  (I Chronicles 4:9-10)

          Wilkinson does a great job of bringing practical application to this prayer and gives testimonial proof that God does, indeed, love to bless us.  This concept is so powerful in my mind that I buy the book by the hundreds and give them away.  My point is threefold: Jabez was more honorable than his brothers (he was in right standing with God), he prayed for blessings, and God granted what he requested.  It is not wrong to pray for blessings if we are in a posture of obedience.  It is what we do with the blessings that determines whether we maintain balance in the area of financial matters.     

          The first step toward financial success is goal setting.  Becoming debt-free could be one of the first goals you set for you and your family.  Maybe college funds for your children would be another goal.  When you write down your financial goals, be sure to consider items such as trusts, net worth, businesses, desired monthly income, levels of giving, etc.

 " We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give." - Winston Churchill

 Managing our Lives

A well managed life will be evidenced through the effective use of our time and resources in each of the six areas of life (spiritual, social, educational, home and family life, physical and health, and financial)—and it will present a balance of these elements.  The management of each area of our lives must be rooted and grounded in our relationship with God, but no one component will dominate, distort, or overpower the others.  I realize there are occasions when we may purposely be out of balance in a certain area of our lives if one area needs special attention—say in times of a family emergency or a financial crisis.  However, the practical application here is understanding how the balancing of these components impacts personal achievement and success. 

          In a well managed life, there is a positive consistency to the events that make up that life.  In other words, over the years and through the events of our lives there is a progressive HARMONY brought about among the social, educational, home and family life, physical and health, and financial areas of our lives.

Time is the essence of consistency.  Consistency, especially in the kind of achievement and success we are seeking, can only be measured over a long period of time.  Time is the great equalizing factor that establishes a demanding reality for each of us.  It is said that we can all experience our 15 minutes of fame, but the test of real achievement must be held in the balance of an entire life.

 " Life is a great big canvas; throw all the paint you can at it."  - Danny Kaye 

During our lives we will have high periods and low periods.  We will experience good times and bad.  We will have periods of success in one or more of the six areas of our lives, and we will experience reversals.  However, time allows for these ups and downs in life, allowing us to learn and improve so we can avoid making the same mistakes over and over again.  And that (making the same mistakes over and over) is probably the number-one identifier of a life that is not well managed. 

None of us can go through life without experiencing failure in one area or another.  But if there is positive consistency in our lives (that is, if we consistently learn from our mistakes and mature through them to bring harmony and balance to our lives), we can, for the most part, avoid repeating our mistakes.  Time is the vehicle that allows us to make course corrections, and time allows us to recover and improve.  High achievers will see opportunities in time because of all they can learn and accomplish, rather than seeing doom and disaster because of missed opportunities and what “might have been.” 

There are many examples in the Bible of men and women who made critical mistakes, but who learned from them, repented, and went on to become great men and women of God.  Abraham, Sarah, Moses, Rahab, Peter, and even King David could have been devastated by their mistakes; but because of positive consistency in their lives, they are known today as heroes of the faith.

Perhaps as you were reading this chapter you identified some areas in your life that are out of balance.  Maybe your spiritual life is lacking and you realize you want a deeper relationship with God.  Perhaps you have a family relationship that is suffering.  Or you may see that there is no positive consistency in your life--things do not line up in harmony over a period of time after experiencing setbacks and mistakes. You could be experiencing a crisis in your financial matters.  It is important for you to know that, no matter how badly our lives have been managed, as long as there is breath, there is HOPE.  Time is on your side, and you can change.  A winning attitude and a goals program would go a long way toward making those improvements. 

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